Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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