we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
