I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
