I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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