dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
