He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
