reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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