I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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