I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
