just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
