I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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