OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
