But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
