She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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