how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
