dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
