The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
