In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
