areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is Oprah even human
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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