I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the day after is always just damage control
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
