My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
