Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
