it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You ruined the universe
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
