GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
