Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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