would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
