Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
