When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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