My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
