I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
