I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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