soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
