That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
