Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
