found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's official drugs can't kill me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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