look no pants
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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