How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
