i don't like sucking hair
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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