Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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