I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh god it's open bar.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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