his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
