i just google imaged poop.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
