Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize