I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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