Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
