Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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