I wannas sexs uuuuu
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
