i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
