so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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