I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
