I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
