The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
