I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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