I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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