im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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