maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
