he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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