Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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