DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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