so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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