Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
