Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
