Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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