I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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