Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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